A Birthday Celebration with Dinosaurs

When you have a birthday and the dinosaurs in your life dress up for the occasion, it's hard not to invite them...

They look so handsome in their party hats. You can tell they put a lot of work into them.

They, of course, will come for the dessert course. On this particular occasion, we had candles and ice cream sandwiches. It started out great when they all sang a most painful, but lovable version of :

"Happy birthday to you... (rargh)!" 

"Happy birthday to you...(lots of roars)!"

"Happy birthday to... (dramatic pause)... YOU! Rarargghhh!" 

There might be a lot of tail thumping and jumping up and down as the excitement mounts with the final line to that traditional birthday song:

"Happpppyyyy birthdaaaay TOOOOOO YOU!!!!!"

Just as the singing finishes, you might find yourself thinking how glad you are to have invited such sweet dinosaurs. You breathe in and bend over to blow out your candles, when a few dinos crowded closer and block your view of the candle and cookie cake. 

"So how do we get rid of the fire?" one might say as one dinosaur did the other night at my house. You would probably try to answer, but before you get a chance one of dinos would likely jump forward and grab the candle out of the ice cream sandwich cookie to investigate.

"I don't know, but WAIT... isn't this how to become a dragon!?"

"No. no!" says a T-Rex (they are often the instigators in situations like these), "To get rid of candles and fire, you just EAT THEM."

And before you will be able to breathe out and blow out the candle yourself or stop them, one or several of the dinosaurs will likely eat your candles. Flames and all.  

Somehow a T-Rex devouring candles tends to trigger a sort of stampede on the dinner table.

The cookie cake will likely be ripped apart.

Ice cream will be slurped and snarfed from the plate so fast, you will simply sit, dumbfounded. 

You might open your mouth to protest, but you might get distracted by a Pterodactyl flying off with the last chunk of the rapidly disappearing ice cream sandwich cookie cake. 

And then they will be gone.

No cake left. Not a crumb. Just lots of sticky ice cream footprints. 

Those pesky, PESKY DINOSAURS!

It's what happens when you invite dinosaurs to a birthday celebration.

Sigh...

BUT if it is any consolation, later you can subject them to a bath...

And THAT will be very satisfying. 

"Nooooo!!!!!! Not a bath.... rarrrghhh!"

Spring Seeding with Dinosaurs

If I am starting a few seedlings indoors, I will often use a plastic egg carton for starting seeds. They are excellent for retaining humidity and growing little plants early. Today I decided to seed some vegetables and greens. I poked a few holes in the bottom of the egg carton with a thumb tack to allow water to drain and filled the "egg cups" with soil. I pulled out my seed collection and turned my back from the counter for just a minute to get a cup of tea....

The dinosaurs saw the soil. They saw the seeds, and immediately began giving their opinions on which seeds ought to be planted. So I pulled up a chair, sipped on my nice cup of tea and watched.

"Arugula... we should definitely plant arugula. It's the best."

"Yeah!" This dinosaur was so excited. He'd never seen anything grow from seed to table before...  Well, mostly because he has a tendency to eat the seeds and occasionally the table. Patience is not a strong point with some dinosaurs. 

"What about Romaine? It's an excellent crunchy salad "

"I like Asian Greens... how about Pac Choi. It's crunchy, too."

Or... what about... FLOWERS!

"Or Spinach?"

"OR FLOWERS? It says here you can eat some of these flowers."

Okay, those are all good ideas, but we're going to plant arugula... cause it is the best." Rex clearly has his opinions. He also tends to be the ringleader on these sorts of projects.

"So you just dig a hole and just put in the seeds... and they grow?"

"No, no no. There's more to it than that!" says Rex, "We dig a hole, put in the seeds AND cover the seeds AND then water them." Brontosaurus can you cover those seeds?"

"And then we have to pat the soil gently down."

"I got a nasturtium seed. They grow into tasty edible flowers."

"FLOWERS?!" says the extremely excitable dinosaur.

"Let's cover and pack all the seeds with dirt. What do we have... spinach, pac choi, arugula, and nasturtiums.... hmm!"

"Now we water the seeds."

"And put the lid on to help them stay moist and warm."

"And now, we wait."

"What?! Waiting!! We're always WAITING!!!"

"Argghhh!!!"

(Short Pause) 

"Are they ready yet?"

"No."

The Midnight Ride of Paul the Dinosaur

"Listen my hatchlings and you shall hear

Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,

On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five (million B.C.);

Hardly a dino is now alive

Who remembers that famous day and year.

He said to his friend, "If the Red Coats march

Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch

One if by land,  and two if by sea;

Three if they come riding the T

Four if by bridge, and five by taxi,

And I on the opposite shore will be,

Ready to ride and spread the alarm

Through every Middlesex village and farm,

For the country folk to be up and to arm."

From his vantage point up high,

Pterodactyl saw them moving by:

The muster of Red Coats at the barrack door,

He heard them chomp, he heard them roar

The earth-shaking tread of the dinosaurs,

Marching down to their boats on the shore.

Pterodactyl flew to the Old North Church,

Landed upon his steepled perch,

Pigeons flew as the tower lurched

And the sombre rafters round him creaked

Meanwhile, impatient to mount and ride,

Booted and spurred, with a heavy stride

On the opposite shore stomped Paul Revere.

Now he patted his Brontosaurus's side,

Now he gazed at the landscape far and near,

But mostly he watched with eager search

And lo! From the tower of the Old North Church,

A glimmer, and then a gleam of light!

He springs to the saddle, the bridle he turns,

But lingers and gazes, till full on his sight

A second lamp in the belfry burns.

A hurry of hoofs in a village street,

A shape in the moonlight, a bulk in the dark,

And beneath, from the pebbles, in passing, a spark

Struck out by a steed flying fearless and fleet;

That was all! And yet, through the gloom and the light,

The fate of an era was riding that night;

So through the night rode Paul Revere;

And so through the night went his cry of alarm

To every Middlesex village and farm,---

A cry of defiance, and not of fear,

A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,

And a word that shall echo for evermore!

For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,

Through all our history, to the last,

In the hour of darkness and peril and need,

The dinos will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof-beats of that steed,

And the midnight message of Paul Revere.

You know the rest. In the books you have read...

The Red Coat came, fired and fled

The farmers gave them ball for ball,

From behind each fence and farmyard wall,

Chasing the Red Coats down the lane.

 

-----

And the Red Coats were never heard of again,

In any Middlesex village or farm.